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What Are Good Family Rules for Phone & Screen Use?
Hey Parent Support Circle,
If you’ve ever sat at the dinner table watching everyone scroll on their phones — or argued about how much “screen time” is too much — you are not alone. Creating healthy family rules around phones and screens is one of the toughest but most important jobs we face as parents in our digital world.
Here’s a friendly, practical guide to help your family build rules that feel fair, connected, and sustainable — not like a constant battle.
Why Family Screen Rules Matter
Before diving into “what” the rules are, let’s talk about why they matter:
Role-modeling matters. Kids copy what we do. If we’re always glued to our phones, they’ll think that’s just “normal.” Common Sense Media
Sleep, health, and attention. Too much screen time (especially late at night) can mess with sleep, attention spans, and even emotional well-being. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends minimizing screen use, especially before bed. Canadian Paediatric Society
Quality over quantity. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it's not just about how much screen time kids get — but what they do on screens. AAP
Balance and connection. Setting rules gives room for meaningful family time, face-to-face play, and rest — all of which are essential.
Top Questions Families Ask (and Smart Answers)
Here are three of the most common questions parents have — and some advice backed by experts.
1. How much screen time is “too much”?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are some helpful guidelines:
The Canadian Paediatric Society suggests no screen time for children under 2, and for kids aged 2–5, limit to under 1 hour/day. Canadian Paediatric Society+1
For older kids, the AAP doesn’t always set a strict number of hours; rather, they emphasize balance and boundaries. AAP
Some older advice (and still common in many parenting tips) recommends no more than two hours of “entertainment” screen time per day for children. Scientific American
Bottom line: Think of screen time in terms of quality, not just minutes. Ask: “Is this screen use meaningful, social, or educational — or is it mindless scrolling?”
2. Where and when should screens be off-limits?
Creating "safe zones" and "time windows" where screens simply aren’t allowed is a powerful way to protect family connection.
Some helpful rules to consider:
Tech-free zones: Mealtimes (especially dinner) are perfect for “no phones.” Many families use a basket for devices to encourage this. FamilyEducation
Bedrooms: Remove devices from bedrooms at night. Electronics in bedrooms can disrupt sleep and make it harder for kids (and adults) to wind down. HealthyChildren.org+1
Wind-down time: Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime. This gives everyone a chance to disconnect, relax, talk, or read. EduResearcher+1
3. How do we make rules that stick, without constant fights?
This is where the Parent Support Circle’s strength really comes in. It’s not just about enforcing rules — it’s about co-creating them.
Here’s a step-by-step way to build family screen rules together:
Make a Family Media Plan
Use tools like the Family Tech Planner (from Common Sense Media) to sit down as a family and decide: what devices do we use? Which apps are allowed? When can we use them? Common Sense MediaWrite it out
Having a written agreement (something you put on the fridge or somewhere visible) helps. According to parenting experts, this makes screen rules feel more like a shared commitment, not a random demand. FamilyEducationRotate responsibilities
Give older kids or teens a say in the plan. Let them help set limits, and ask for their feedback. When they feel part of the process, they’re more likely to own the rules.Model the behavior
Parents: walk the talk. Put your phone away during family time. Put your own screen limits in place. Common Sense Media+1
When kids see that you’re doing it too, that’s one of the strongest messages you can send.Use screen-limiting tools
Many phones now have built-in “screen time” or “downtime” settings. Use them! There are also third-party parental-control apps that help limit time or enforce schedules. AirDroidDigital detoxes together
Periodically, do a “digital detox” as a family: turn off screens for a few hours or a whole day. Use that time for board games, outdoor walks, talk-time — whatever brings you together. MydohRevisit and revise
This isn’t a “set it and forget it” plan. Revisit your rules every few months. What’s working? What’s not? Be open to tweaking.
More Tips from Real Parents (plus Research)
Set phone check-ins – For older kids/teens, agree on specific check-ins to talk about what they’re doing on their phone (apps, social media, games). This supports trust and transparency.
Be mindful of passive screen use – Background TV or having multiple devices on can pull focus away from real family time. Try to minimize that. Common Sense Media
View together – When kids (especially younger ones) are watching or playing, do it with them sometimes. Talk about what’s happening. Ask questions. This builds connection and media literacy. Common Sense Media
Be ready for pushback – If kids argue that “everyone else gets more screen time,” refer back to your family media plan. Use the shared agreement, not just your “parent power.”
Why Join the Parent Support Circle for This Conversation?
Because screen time parenting isn’t just about rules — it’s deeply personal, and it’s emotional. We all want the best for our kids, but we also want to feel close, connected, and respected — not like we’re policing every minute.
When you join the Parent Support Circle, you get:
A community of parents who are wrestling with the same balancing act
Advice that’s practical, not preachy
Accountability (because you don’t have to do this alone)
Ongoing ideas for revisiting and refining your screen-time rules
👉 Join the Parent Support Circle to connect, create, and commit to a healthier, more balanced digital life — together.
Final Thoughts (From One Parent to Another)
Building strong, healthy family screen rules is one of the greatest acts of love you can give your kids — and your whole family. It’s not about denying technology entirely. It’s about choosing how we use it, when, and why.
Yes, there will be pushback. Yes, there will be days when the old habits creep back in. But with a plan, open communication, and a supportive parent community, you can lay the foundation for balanced tech habits — habits that build connection, creativity, and calm.
Thanks for being here, for asking the tough questions, and for caring enough to create a nurturing, thoughtful home. If you're ready to take the next step in this journey, remember: join the Parent Support Circle. We’re here for you.